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Mort aux Bouledouges! Vive le tailgating!

Craig Walzer

Issue date: 12/6/06 Section: Entertainment
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I can describe the places I've lived my life in three parts: the Confederacy, Ivy League campuses and Europe.

So for the Harvard-Yale game I figured I'd bring visitors from my two other worlds for a taste of this one. Their reactions follow. Chris grew up with season tickets to Neyland Stadium at the University of Tennessee, which on game days packs over 100,000 people and becomes the fourth largest city in the state. I met Pauline in a sangria bar in Paris and to her, football had always meant Zidane and les bleus until she saw the Yale offensive line and explained "Mon Dieu! Zey are yuuuuuge!" Here she treats us to what may well be the first Harvard-Yale review ever written in the language of love.

First, Chris the Confederate:

"This Knowledge Bowl featured the quintessential Nerds against those cheating blue clad Dorks with serious bragging rights on the line. Should the Nerds win a sixth game in a row, the Dorks would head back to Connecticut pondering perfect numbers and the number of known quarks. If the Nerds won, it would be the same as losing because who gives a crap about football when you're about to get a degree from Harvard?

"The Yalies were clearly larger and faster and stronger and cared more about this game than the Crimson, and their fans were as loud as they imagined college football fans should be. The Harvard supporters were subdued from the get-go by a mediocre high-school-level offense, but the cider was hot and the day was pretty, so why not have a quiet chat with your neighbor and smack the beach ball around? We smacked until a couple from Greenwich took out a nail file and began bursting our bubbles. Then we just booed and that was surprisingly fun.

"Without any beach balls we had to do something to pass the third quarter. So Daniel, another visiting friend, and Pauline figured they'd get hitched on the spot. Crowd interest peaked when we managed to get the stadium announcer to ask a Justice of the Peace to visit our row.
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